The Good and The Bad

             Consistent with life, this past week (which I can't believe was only my 3rd week here) has been filled with really great things and also really hard things.  I think I will start with the hard because then we can end on a really wonderful note!

            This week we had to go and visit the students’ school because we were having a few problems.  Some of our students told us that their teachers had beat them because they didn’t bring in toilet paper like they were asked to do. Many of you who know me well know I don’t even believe in spanking your own children, so you can imagine how hard this is on my heart to hear about this treatment of my students.  Sometimes I hate that I can’t control the environment that these children are in all day long.  It’s not just here in Nigeria either.  I am sure that every teacher in America has also wished they could rescue a student from the environment they are living in when they are away from us, but we can’t and that sucks.  Anyways, we went and spoke with the head teacher and explained to her that these children are very vulnerable because of all they have gone through in life at such a young age and that we are the ones providing for them so they should not be punished when we don’t bring in the toilet paper for them.  She seemed to understand and I am praying that I never have to hear about my students being beat again.

students at Igmin Kibe with Esther

            Another one of my students came up to me today very seriously and said “Aunty Anna, I need to tell you that I wasn’t in school on Friday” (part of the rules of our Ed Center is that in order for them to come they have to go to school).  I appreciated his honesty and asked him why he didn’t go to school. He told me that his cousin, who was just less than 1 year old, had died. Gosh, it just about broke my heart again.  We talked for a short time about how he was doing and feeling and how his family was.  To be honest, I never know how to handle these kinds of situations.  I never know what to say, I mean what can you say? 

            So those were just a few of the hard things this past week, but there were so many good things too!  Ayuba is one of the other teachers here at Igmin Kibe.  Ayuba teaches the students that have already gone through the speaking and learning to read English curriculum.  He and I decided to start a new curriculum with his students and I am really excited about it.  We decided to go with a curriculum/structure called Daily 5 (which is pretty popular in the US).  Today we had our first lesson and it went really well!  I think it is a great fit for these kids because it provides them with the structure and modeling they are so accustomed to with their schools but also helps them learn how to work and learn independently and gives them a chance to think more critically and be creative.  Ayuba is really excited about it and that makes me even more excited about it!

Some of the students in Ayuba's class 

            Last Sunday we took the kids from Destiny’s Home (a children’s home here in Jos that we partner with) to a church where they were invited to sing.  I am really encouraged because this church has really felt a call to care for orphans and wants to partner with Destiny’s Home as well.  They took just one offering and all the money they collected went straight to the home. They literally handed Sandra, the director, the offering baskets (although they later came and put all the cash in a black plastic bag so they could have the baskets back).  The kids did an awesome job singing and dancing and got the whole church to join in (which really doesn’t take much in a Nigerian church)!  It was a really great day!

            So those are just a few highlights of this past week.  I think I need to start blogging throughout the week so these blog posts don’t have to be so dang long!

Grace, Peace, and Love,

Anna

Mash de Clutch! Don't mash de Clutch!

This past week has been quite the adventure!  First it made my soul so happy to be out at the village at the Ed Center and to see all of the precious students out there, both the ones I already knew and the ones I was meeting for the first time, but I will get to that more a little bit later.

Traffic on the way home

            One of my big adventures for the week was that I started driving!  First, the car I have here is a manual.  Second, I had some wonderful teachers in the states that taught me how to drive manual, but really I had only driven a manual about 6 times.  Oh how I wish I could have put a camera in the car and filmed my times driving with Alphonsus.  Alphonsus works for the ministry and I wish you all could meet him because he is the sweetest.  Everything about him makes me laugh in the best way possible.  You can only imagine now how our “driving lessons” went when he made me drive through town on the second day at rush hour… You might be picturing him saying something like “Anna, why are you mashing de clutch?! Quit mashing de clutch!.... Why aren’t you mashing the clutch? Mash de clutch! Mash de clutch! Why do you want de car to stop? Uh huh?”  And me just laughing because what the heck is mashing the clutch? And then you might picture me saying “Alphonsus, am I doing a good job?” To which Alphonsus would respond “Is de car moving? Yes. Then yes, you are doing a good job.”  However, by Wednesday he told me I didn’t even need him the car anymore, but I think I will keep him around just for a little while…  So that is my driving and I must say I am quite pleased with myself.

This is a picture overlooking the village from some rocks
we hiked up.

            Now, onto the village and the Ed Center.  I just love that place and those people.  The teachers blew me away.  Esther is so much more confident than when I first worked with her a year and a half ago.  Ayuba is a new teacher since I have been here.  He is pretty young with no formal teaching training, but Theresa did a great job training him because he is like a rockstar teacher.  God has definitely given him the gift of teaching.  Stephen, who is also new since I was here and is Esther’s husband, does a great job managing things and tutoring the older students.

            The students themselves were such an encouragement and a testament to God at work in this place.  A few students in particular have gone through such a transformation it is incredible.  One of the students is Israel, who was in my class that I helped teach during the internship I did in 2011.  Israel was the trouble-maker and was not too committed to his education when I first knew him.  In fact, I am pretty sure he was getting close to getting kicked out of the program because he had had so many violations to Ed Center Policies.  When I observed his classroom on Monday that boy was so attentive and was so happy to be there and was even reading to me!  I thought he must have been acting that way to impress me, but I talked with Esther and she told me he has totally changed! So praise the Lord for that and for the work that He is doing in all the students’ lives!

          The kids are always saying funny things.  One of the new students, Mary, tells me every day “Wow Auntie, you’re head is looking veeeerrry good!”  It cracks me up every time.

            This week we have two teams here, which is really exciting, but also means it will be a really busy week for us all!

Grace, Peace, and Love,

Anna

I have arrived and I have internet

Hello Everyone!

Me in front of Westminster Abbey during
my long, long layover!

I have arrived safely to Nigeria after 2 longs days of traveling, although I can’t complain because I did get to explore London a little bit!  Also funny side note... Coming back in to the airport after exploring London the security decided they needed to search my carry on.  In London, this means they have to take every single thing out of your carry on -- EVERY SINGLE THING literally!  This was the carry on the had all of my Education books and then random last minute things.  Sam (the security guard and my new BFF in London) took about 15 minutes for this process and he even helped me re-pack.  Good thing I left myself plenty of time to get to my flight!
I got here on Tuesday afternoon and I have been keeping pretty busy since I arrived (I did take some time Wednesday afternoon to just rest).  I have still been settling in to my room and getting it all set up so it feels more homey.  The Smarts have been so wonderful about taking care of me while I am settling in!

Grammie and me at the airport

            It has been so wonderful reconnecting with old friends and even making some new ones!  Right when we arrived close to home we found Emmanuel on the side of the road.  It was so wonderful to see an old friend; it made me feel like I had finally arrived.  That night I saw another friend and got to meet her new little baby (who is so precious, and you know that is saying a lot since I am not really a baby person)!

            Wednesday I got to visit Destiny’s Home with the Smarts, which is a children’s home in Jos that Back2Back partners with.  This home is new since I was here and so I was very excited to get to see it in person!  The director is wonderful and the children are so sweet.  The kids both live and go to school at the home.  I got to help Leah as she pulled a few of the kids in the youngest class for extra support.  I loved it because I felt right in my element teaching!  I also had dinner with another young, single woman who is here from the States doing mission work with a different organization.  It was really fun and she was such a gracious host.

lots of tears saying good-bye! I am sure the security guards
thought I was crazy!

            Thursday I got to go to the village just for a few hours and connect with the teachers at Igmin Kibe.  It was so so so wonderful to see Esther again and her husband who also now works for Back2Back.  I also got to meet the other teacher, Ayuba, who is new since I was here.  I got a chance to briefly look over the curriculum and even got to see some of my old students and meet a few of the new ones!  I was amazed how they looked the same, but older all at the same time.  Thursday Daniel took me all around town doing errands and immigration things.  It was such a busy day!

my room before I unpacked all of my things

           Today, after a lot of struggling and trouble shooting I finally got my internet and phone up and running!  It feels good now knowing that I can be somewhat connected to the outside world.  Now it is really late at night. I am still adjusting to the time difference I think. I haven't gone to bed before 2 am!

Until Later,

Anna

Packing for a year

I leave for Nigeria in 3 days and it still feels surreal that I am actually leaving.  You would think I would be used to the idea after waiting for 7 and a half months.  But actually, I think the longer wait made it more surreal because I had time to grow accustom to life in Michigan again.  I saw God provide , reveal, and restore a lot of things in a lot of areas in my life.

Also, I hate packing, especially packing for a year.  I got all of my clothes in one suitcase and felt really good.  Then I looked around and had a ton of piles of random things that at some point this fall I thought to myself "hmmm, better not get rid of that, I might bring it to Nigeria with me".  So, I just started throwing random stuff in and decided I would stop putting stuff in when there was no more room.  Sounds like a really good idea, right? I thought so...

Anyways, ready or not, I am leaving on Sunday! Talk to you from Nigeria.

My room my looks chaotic, but it is organized chaos, I think....

My sister's room that I took over for packing

How I feel about packing for a year...

P.S. If you want to receive monthly newsletters and email updates I don't post to my blog, please send me an email at awellemeyer@back2back.org.

Crying and Wrestling

Fair Warning: I am going to be honest, I have no idea where this entry is going to end up, but just try to stick with me through it (any of you that know me know that I can have a hard time articulating my point because lots of times I don't exactly know what my point is, but in the end something always comes out, whether or not it is good is always up for debate).  I will not blame you if you quit reading now.

   I would never label myself a "crier".  However, for some reason for the last month dampness on my cheeks has been a familiar feeling.  I start crying while driving to tutoring and crying when I'm at church and even crying when my family is watching the stupid X-Factor for goodness sake!
    I don't hate crying.  In all honesty, I think crying is a truly beautiful thing.  It expresses raw emotion that transcends words. People say that a picture is worth a thousand words; well I think crying is worth a million. It can be a healing process within itself as well as a release.
     My biff is not with crying itself.  I just hate it when I am the one doing the crying with no control whatsoever about when and how it comes.  Me and crying have had a battle for many years now.  It seems like whenever I want to cry I can't, and whenever I don't want to cry is the exact moment that I feel the pressure building up at the inside corner of my eyes (like that time I cried all the way through my sharing about Nigeria in front of Red Door Church.  Giff seriously asked me if I wanted him to finish for me. Talk about embarrassing!)  I hate crying in front of other people when I am crying about myself.  It really is the worst.  Or actually the worst is when you are crying in front of someone and you honestly have no idea why you are crying.  That is what I really hate.  It probably has to do with my independent and strong nature, in other words, my pride.  It makes me feel selfish, stupid, and weak.  It makes me feel out of control.
    This realization has caused me to look at crying in a new way because I think God is using the recent and frequent streams of water flowing out of my eyes as a way of wrestling with me like he wrestled with Jacob.  Seems kinda crazy, but stick with me here for a moment.
     God's wrestling with Jacob (Gensis 32) is one of my most recent favorite stories in the Bible.  There are so many intricate details about this story that blow my mind, but I am just going to give you the short version of one aspect of the story.  The name "Jacob" means "he grasps the heel", which is a figurative way of saying "he deceives".  If you read Jacob's story (Gensis 25-32) that is his identity.  He is a deceiver.  He cheats his brother out of both his birthright and his father's blessing.  When Jacob's father is old and getting ready to give his blessing to Jacob's brother Esau, Jacob dresses up like his brother.  His father asks him who he is and he says "I am Esau, your firstborn" which is a bold-face lie. Jacob is trying to be someone he is not in order to get something that is not rightfully his.  Years later, after he has wrestled with the man all night, Jacob is at a place of ultimate weakness, but he is still striving on his own power to get something. The man says it is time for him to leave.  Jacob says he will not let him leave until he blesses him. The man asks him "What is your name?" Deja vu for Jacob  right?  This time though, after wrestling with God, Jacob is able to answer honestly.  He admits his name is Jacob, a deceiver.  It is only after Jacob is honest with himself and with God that God is able to begin working with him.  God gives Jacob a new name, "Israel", which means "he has striven with God".  Do you see the huge transformation that took place once Jacob was able to be honest.  Not only was his name changed, but his identity was changed, and the way he went about life was changed. He changed from striving through his own efforts which led him to deception, to striving WITH God.  He was able to partner with God to do God's work and fulfill his purpose all because God brought him to a place of weakness and in response to the weakness, Jacob chose honesty and surrender.
     I say that my recent crying is like God wrestling with me because it is bringing me to a place of humility.  It is challenging me to be honest with myself and God.  It has caused me to dig really deep and get to a point where I can admit to the existence a lot of crap in my heart that I have been adamant about denying for a long time (did you catch that?  I'm not even at the point where I am dealing with it yet, I am just starting to admit that it exists).  I am at a place like Jacob was when the man asked him "What is your name?"  Am I going to answer "My name is Anna, a strong, independent, self-sufficient person who can make it on her own", or am I going to answer "My name is Anna, a daughter of El Elyon, the God Most High, who needs the grace and assistance of my Creator"?  I am seeing more clearly that I want to respond in the second way because I want to strive with God.  I want to surrender my own control because, just how Jacob's striving led him to being a deceiver, being in control leads me to being someone that I don't want to be, someone that I wasn't meant to be.  It leads me to being numb, judgmental, and cynical.  It strips away the very gifts of mercy, grace, love and child-likeness that God has given me to help spread his kingdom here on Earth.  So, right now I am saying that I don't want control because I don't want to be that person because that person does not fulfill her purpose of giving glory to God.  Glorifying God is where all true joy springs up because it is the root of what we all were created to do. That is what my soul actually longs for and desires.

   That is all I have for now.  This is not at all where I was expecting to end up, nor do I think it is the actual end of this topic. If you made it this far through my ramblings I congratulate you once again like I have before in other entries.

Egg-cellent News!!!!!!

    I got an email from Mama Betty this week that brought me so much joy!  She was writing to let me know that a few eggs have appeared in the chicken coop meaning only one thing.... THE CHICKENS ARE FINALLY LAYING EGGS!!!!!!!

A picture of 39 eggs Maurice collected one morning from
the precious chickens!

   Waiting for these chicks to lay eggs has really grown my patience!  When we were told that it would take about 20 weeks for the chicks to start laying, for some reason it didn't register to me that it meant they wouldn't start laying until October!  I was ready for eggs in August.  But, the Lubangas have done such a wonderful job being faithful and taking care of those precious chicks that I can imagine they are even more excited than I am about the arrival of the eggs.
   Since the email, I have talked to Mama Betty about 3 times on the phone this week eagerly getting updates.  One day Mama Betty told me she spent the whole day taking care of the chicks - she is as excited as I am about them!  The first day the chicks laid about 6 eggs.  The picture that Maurice sent me from a fews days later has 39 eggs he collected in one morning!  It is "normal" for between 85% and 90% of your chickens to lay eggs everyday once they are in full swing.  So, hopefully in the next few weeks we will be collecting 180 eggs every day to sell!  Can you imagine???
   We have also decided that since we have an empty chicken coop now (the one we raised the baby chicks in before they were moved to the new coop) that we are going to purchase 100 broilers (which are chickens that we can raise and sell for their meat).  These chicken have a quicker turn-over and hopefully we can sell them by January-ish.  We are excited about this project too and I am hoping that some of the student teachers that are there now will also contribute to this project.
   I wanted to thank everyone who donated to the chicken project before.  I hope you are just as excited as I am that the chickens you helped purchase are now a money-making machine that will help Epico Jahns be more self-sustaining.  Mama Betty and I decided that the money collected from the project will be split between paying for food for the students at the school and paying the teachers' salaries.
   So, Asante Sana (thank you very much in kiSwahili)!  I will keep you all updated on the project as I hear more from Mama Betty!

Micah

    Many of you know, but many of you may not know (to be honest I have no idea who even reads my blog anyways), a friend and inspiration of mine, Micah Magnusson, passed away almost 2 months ago. This is a prayer that I wrote following Micah’s death. To read more about Micah and the journey God took him on, you can explore his care pages site at http://www.carepages.com/carepages/MicahMag/updates.

Father,

   On Wednesday August 22, 2012 a gentle and strong brother of the faith was taken home to you.  You must be so happy to have Micah with you finally.  It must give you such joy to see your child finally fully healed and completely redeemed.  Lord, I envy the time he is getting to spend with you, but you are above time and we will all be together for eternity and I praise you for that. 

            Father, it brings tears of joy to my eyes and an overwhelming gladness fills my heart when you give me visions of Micah running, climbing, talking, laughing, and shouting.  Lord it is a sweet picture and sound my mind gets to experience and I thank you that you have given me that joy amongst the sadness.

            Lord, I think what makes me most sad is that you didn’t choose to heal Micah here on Earth.  So many of your children had this relentless hope and belief that you would do it.  Lord, every time I was around him my mind was flooded with images of him laughing and walking again.  I saw him miraculously getting up out of that dang chair and just walking across the living room, like no big deal.  I saw it with my mind, but it makes me sad that I didn’t get to see it with my eyes.

            God, I know you could have done that and you would have been so glorified, but you have also been so glorified in Micah’s death.  Your children praised you time and time again at Micah’s funeral.  You were given glory upon glory for your unfathomable love, grace, and faithfulness.  Hundreds of people got to hear the good news that there is One that can satisfy the soul.  Hundreds of people got to hear and witness your strength that held the Magnussons together.  Hundreds of people got to hear that you, Jesus, are the only reason that Micah and the Magnussons could hold on to hope for so long and with such passion and determination.

            There is a song by Gungor called “This is Not the End”.  It declares that this is not the end, that we can open our mouth wider and that we will shine brighter.  I don’t believe that Micah’s death is the end of the impact that he is going to have on your creation here on Earth.  We will open our mouths wider sharing his story, and in turn sharing your story for your beloved creation.

            Lord, I am sad that I didn’t get to see any of those visions of Micah come to be here on Earth with my physical eyes.  But God, you are pushing me to have hope that is even more relentless than before because it is a hope that I will have to hold on to all the days of my life.  It is a hope that you are faithful and your plan is to redeem and restore all of your children.  Lord please give me this relentless hope.  Thank you. I praise you.